I'm happy to be myself

No. I just can't say it.
I'm happy to be alive.
I'm happy about the fact that i live in Germany. I'm happy cause I'm healthy. I'm happy that my sister is safe.
But I'm not happy to be myself. I'm not satisfied with my life. I don't know what I want. I'm confused, angry and lonley.
Still lonely.
Today my 'friend' told me I was cruel to my baby-dog. Me! The only thing I really like in the whole world are dogs! And she said I was cruel! Although she has no idea how to handle a dog! She told me I was wrong with what I was doing! She broke the one rule. She critizised me about that. And that's something I really can't stand.
I'm lonley again. I guess I'm not good in making friends. I always choose the wrong person I give my heart to. I'm so done with that.